If there is anything that I am perfect in, it’s imperfection!
When you think of imperfection do you picture beauty or does a messy image come to mind?
Last week, I sat around a table with other women. We each introduced ourselves and told a little bit about who we were. The guests were shocked as I introduced myself as a mother of 11 children, a wife to my best friend, and a business owner who loves what she does. One woman, who sat to my right-hand side, leaned forward and asked, “Do you ever get frustrated, stressed, or upset?” I giggled and with a smile said, “Yes! And I bleed too! I am human.” The table all laughed, and the conversation continued with questions, and more interaction as we shared glimpses into the reality of our lives. I walked away that evening with new friends and the realization of just how easy it is for people to perceive “perfection” in the middle of my very imperfect, messy life.
Life is not perfect. We are not perfect. So why are we beating ourselves up over this perfect, unrealistic expectation? Why are we so afraid of imperfection…. we’re human right? We all bleed? We all realize that no one can get it right 100% of the time, so why do we set people up on pedestals pretending they do??? Why do we believe with our hearts that someone else must have found the secret to perfection or at least figured it out more than me?
What if it’s not that they figured out how to be perfect, rather they figured out how to be perfectly imperfect?
I think the difference is one of us will beat ourselves up because of the imperfections where another woman doesn’t Instead, she uses those imperfections to make her beautiful, to laugh at herself, and to open her eyes to the glimpses of perfection in all her imperfections. Sometimes we can be both of these women; I pray for more days as the second woman than the first.
Later that week, as we headed home from California, my daughter in love and I discussed the reality of our imperfection as mothers. We don’t always get it right… maybe, we don’t get it right a lot of times. That doesn’t mean we are always imperfect!
As a young mother, we can look at others and think, “They have figured out how to be the perfect mother, the perfect hostess, and the perfect wife”. When the reality is that all of us are perfectly imperfect! No matter how good some of us may be at sharing glimpses of perfection, we each has monumental moments of imperfection!
Let me share what I mean,
Instead of focusing on the imperfect, burnt, birthday cake you tried to make your spouse… focus on the perfect fact that he loves you even if he doesn’t have a cake.
Instead of focusing on the imperfection of setting the smoke detectors off when you cook; focus on the perfect moments of laughter while everyone runs around to open windows and doors before the fire department shows up… again!
Instead of focusing on the imperfect moments of parenting when a child is rebelling, … focus on the perfect moments of His peace and grace that you know you could never come up with on your own.
Instead of focusing on the imperfections of the finances…. focus on the perfect moments that you can spend with your spouse and children that don’t cost a thing.
Instead of focusing on just imperfections….focus on the perfect things we can find amidst each one of them. My family is far from perfect, and we wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Until our next chat,
Mrs. Joseph Wood